


Twenty Years

by Miracule



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gideon breaks my heart tbh, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:31:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4919680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miracule/pseuds/Miracule
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We’re a business, Elliot,” Gideon often tells him.  Even after the hundredth time, Elliot will look up, eyes vacant, and Gideon will make a show of his exasperation. “The jacket. Take it off!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty Years

**Author's Note:**

> my love for gideon hit me like a train yesterday, and this drabble demanded to be written. i just feel like there are so many unanswered questions about their relationship, which is clearly a little one-sided.
> 
> ah--also, i'm working from the original pilot script, so if a line is wrong...blame USA.

He turns fifty in two months. And Elliot... Well, the kid is what— _thirty? That's generous._   And that’s twenty years. Twenty years is a big fucking difference. It sounds so much worse than thirteen (the lucky number that separates Gideon and Harry). Still, Gideon can’t help but wonder.

It’s not that he’d ever cheat on Harry. He wouldn’t. Gideon’s never been unfaithful. He’s broken hearts and he’s been unfair and he’s been belligerent, but he hasn’t cheated. It’s something that he’s proud of, and rightfully so. But like every other person on the planet, Gideon wonders.

 

 

When Elliot first applied to work for Allsafe, Gideon felt profoundly sorry for the kid. Elliot could hardly stand to look people in the eye, and he had this slow, beaten-down way of talking—like the entire weight of the world was coming down on him.  

Gideon wondered if somebody like Elliot could even survive at a company like Allsafe.

But after a brief examination, it became quite clear that Elliot Alderson was _smart_. Everything seemed to come naturally to him. It really was a gift—like perfect pitch—and the company needed that kind of talent. Still, Gideon had his reservations. He didn’t think that working with Elliot would be easy, and he was right—to an extent.

“We’re a business, Elliot,” Gideon often tells him. Even after the hundredth time, Elliot will look up, eyes vacant, and Gideon will make a show of his exasperation. “The jacket. Take it off!”

Gideon has lost count of how many times he’s run into that hoodie.

Later that same day, Elliot will spy him from across the room and pull a glum face as he shrugs the thing off. The next morning, however, he’ll forget, and the cycle will start all over again.

But that isn’t the worst of it. Every few weeks, Elliot shows up late. Sometimes he doesn’t come in at all, but calls in sick at the very last minute, voice raw and cracked like he’s been crying. Gideon tells him, “You can’t miss this much work. Elliot, I don’t want to let you go, but you can’t keep doing this. Please talk to me.”

It doesn’t make a difference.

Gideon needs Elliot on the payroll and Elliot knows as much. But Gideon has come to realize that it’s much more complicated than that.

Gideon cares; he always has. He tries to give his employees everything that they need. He tries to be supportive, kind, and understanding, and things are no different when it comes to Elliot.

To be completely honest, he’s grown to love the kid. 

Why? At the end of the day, Elliot is nice. He’s quiet and awkward and sometimes Gideon can practically feel the sadness rolling off him in waves. But he’s nice. More than that, he’s kind, and Gideon values kindness.  

_Twenty years_ , Gideon thinks. He feels his heart jump a little. _Come down to earth._

He doesn’t remember exactly when he began to think about Elliot like this. It came on slowly, bit by bit. Now it disgusts him—not because Elliot is disgusting in any way (he’s not, in fact he’s the opposite), but because Elliot is his employee. Gideon is not the sort of man who sleeps with his employees, and he never will be.

Not even if the kid came up to him right now... Not even if Elliot were the one to reach out and take his hand and— _No_. Gideon feels a particular kind of warmth settling into his belly, and it scares him to death.

That wouldn’t happen anyway. The kid hates being touched.

_Even if he does like men—which is a fucking stretch—why would he like me?_

Twenty _fucking_ years. _Hell, he’s got a girlfriend now._

Still, Gideon wonders.

 

 

 

“Did you know that I'm gay?”

The words spilled out against his better judgment. But Elliot shying away from his touch had made him sick with anxiety; made him think that perhaps Elliot knew the truth and hated him for it.

He quickly regretted saying anything at all. He remembers staring hard at the wine glass in front of him, realizing that _maybe, just maybe_ he’d had one too many. He wasn’t used to all-nighters; they made him weird.

However, to his relief, Elliot seemed taken back. “Um... No,” he said, blinking slowly. There wasn’t a hint of disgust in his face.

“Well, consider this me coming out to you, okay? It’s hard; I don’t usually like to talk about my sex life,” Gideon continued, trying and failing to sound casual. _God!_ He’d wanted to kick his own ass after that line.

And then he went ahead and made it out to be _Harry’s_ fault, as if Harry had told him to corner his favorite employee a mile high to say, “I’m gay! How about you?”

Gideon tells himself that he shouldn’t feel guilty; that what he feels for Elliot isn’t sexual. In many ways, it isn’t, but he still feels like a piece of shit whenever he gets that inexplicable urge to wrap Elliot in his arms and ask him— _beg_ him—to open up; to unburden himself a little.  

Gideon wants to know everything. He wants Elliot to trust him and the fact that he doesn’t causes Gideon no small amount of pain. So when Elliot turned to him on the plane and tried, in his own way, to put his boss at ease, Gideon had seen it as a turning point.

He knows now that it wasn’t. Not quite. Elliot still won’t talk to him. And yet, despite his self-loathing and despite the pain that it causes him, Gideon wonders about Elliot.

He also worries. And he aches. And he waits for Elliot to accept his offers of friendship, even though it probably won’t happen.  

But one thing is certain. Gideon fucking loves the kid, even when he wishes that he didn’t.

 

**Author's Note:**

> love it? hate it? drag me in the comments, friends :^)


End file.
